the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
