my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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