Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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