He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
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