My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
