Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
