I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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