Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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