YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
