yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
