i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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