In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
