I don't usually arrange sex via text message
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
