hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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