My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Is Oprah even human
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
