i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
