lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
