Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
