Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
