i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
