I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
