Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
