i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize