Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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