dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
