Jerry, you need to find god
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
