Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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