that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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