Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
