Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
