NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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