do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
