If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
