i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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