I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i came on her dog
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
