our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
