There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
my liver is dry heaving
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
