all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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