Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
