Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
