wrigley field is MILF paradise
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
