i barfeds in our rink
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
