note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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