Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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