If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
