Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
