How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
