all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
