How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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