I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize