Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
