I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
vagina is talking i cant
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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