Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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