Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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