I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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