I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
