that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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