im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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