why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
porn star boner night. come get it.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
