absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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